2008年3月24日 星期一

Frustrated with my computer right now

Again, I want to announce here is

MAYBE I WILL GOING TO NATIONAL SERVICE THIS TIME, see whether there is any place for me or not. Again I will phoned them, as they asked to phone on Monday. If there is a place for me, I will be go into the camp today. So, if you notice I didn't update my blog for a week, you will know that I am not at home. XD

Oh my...my MSN appear the same problem again! Again it flash, sure that time the virus attacks again...I want to say that, I didn't send any link about view image! Is not my fault! Can anyone please help me? I don't know how does it happen, the link is sent to other people who is online on that time. My friend taught me to reinstall MSN, I already done it, and install the latest version of MSN. Is my hotmail address got problem? The links below appear suddenly just now...Not me who copy and paste it here! Can someone please explain it?

Hey, is this your picture? http://www.msn-gallery.com/viewimage.php?=chopcs@hotmail.com


Hey, is this your picture? http://www.msn-gallery.com/viewimage.php?=hell-evil@hotmail.com

Hey, is this your picture? http://www.msn-gallery.com/viewimage.php?=ngrjie@yahoo.com

FRUSTRATED!

2008年3月21日 星期五

今年的GOOD FRIDAY

今天是耶稣受难日,两千多年前的今天,我们最亲爱的主耶稣,为了我们的罪,被钉死在十字架上。 他是无罪的, 但是他愿意顺服上帝的旨意, 为了要让我们这些罪人能够重新回到上帝的怀抱, 他愿意喝下这杯苦杯, 走向死亡之路,忍受人性最丑陋的一面。 又是被侮辱、被人吐痰、被人鞭打,还要背起沉重的十字架绕市。最后还要忍受被钉在十字架上的痛苦,被戴上荆棘冠冕,必须喝醋,最后在下午三点断气。他留下的宝血,洗清了我们世人的罪,好叫我们都能与上帝同在,享有永恒。
不知你们是否有看过The Passion of Christ吗?是不是主角耶稣很可怜呢?其实我没完完全全看完这部电影,每次都是在受难日的时候在教堂看的。每次看到他被钉在十字架上,都会流泪,真的…快看不下去了!今年的受难日,我又流泪了,而且是多次的。不当当因为想起耶稣为了我们而这么做而感到悲哀,但是…唉…

昨晚的连锁祷告会,我参加了,当时我一直想起一些未信主的朋友们和父母,我很伤心,也很讨厌自己为什么不能踏出一步,带他们信主,与他们共享这份最美丽的礼物呢? 然后又想起一些原本是在教会的朋友,之后都不来教会了,会有个念头想把他们重新带回教会。又想起有些基督徒,他们不愿意参加团契和事奉,只愿意参加崇拜的…今年下午参加崇拜时,听见一个朋友的见证分享,又想流泪,因为自己曾经经历类似的事情,她都为那件事而感到感恩,当时我才领悟,原来上帝也有在我信主前已经施恩给我了…今晚,我到诗巫去参加卫神之夜。昨晚在祷告会出现过的念头,又再次出现,而且是非常强烈的,我从来都没有这样的感觉,似乎是要我做我以上想过的东西,并且还要对其他人这么做。我听到了那个声音,强烈到我无法去拒绝,我投降了…我投降给主。但是心里非常挣扎,我哭了,一直哭…当我听到牧师说:“如果当中有了心里挣扎的,可以上前来,牧师会为你们祷告,这是最后一次了。”是的,我上去了,我不懂上帝要怎么使用我,但我肯定的是,我非去短宣不可。我为我自己没有申请三个月的华语短宣而感到非常后悔,所以之后在回应卡当中,我填了,我要去大专短宣。


祷告过后,我渐渐感到放松,甚至还感到莫名其妙的喜乐,这是我第二次感到这样的喜乐,第一次是在我受洗的当天。结果回家的路途中,我变得好多话,叽叽喳喳的,不知什么时候我跟他们的关系这么好,哈哈哈哈!

愿主能带领我,赐我聪明智慧,去明白神要我做的事,到现在为止,我还未真正晓得,请大家为我祷告吧!

2008年3月19日 星期三

I'm Still Here

Remember what I said yesterday? See the red bold words...But not because there is no place, is because they still not yet finish the stuff on newbies register, still not sure whether they is place for me.

They told me, please find them again next week. Maybe I will go next week. Maybe...

2008年3月18日 星期二

Probably Out For 3 Months

I probably go out for three months. 90++ percent I will be going to join National Service tomorrow. It supposed to start today, but since I am the person who had been postponed, I will take the action to join it tomorrow. I will phone them to ask them, whether there is enough place for me or not. My friends who joined it last year, and same case with had already received the call from them the first night of National Service. Why I didn't receive any call about this? Or she will do what she had promised to me, phoned me on 20th? I don't know. No matter what, I will phoned them tomorrow morning, to confirm first. My dad ask to....

So lazy to pack now. Am I going there tomorrow? Probably...yea. So, I blog here today, to tell you, If I'm going to National Service tomorrow, I won't be blog here. Or if I blog here tomorrow, that's mean I'm not going because of no place for me(unless there is computer that I can online over there, *kekeke)

But, I will try to online and blog here if I have the MedSI or interviews. MedSI is held on 19 April, according to the calendar given on the website. I will be go out from the camp and back to Sarikei to sit for the test, if I am been called for that. Hopefully it happen. I want to become a teacher, to be in education field! Then if I am succeed in the test, I will be called for the interview on May. So that day I will be go out from the camp again. *LOL So many holidays I have...but I can't go out earlier if compared to those who want to study Form 6 and matriculation. They go out on the middle of May!

This three months, sure will be a practice for me, to practice me to become an independent person, a healthy person(because have to jog early in the morning everyday and do tough activities), a person who is more easily mixing with other people, especially Bumiputera, this sure can practice me to have more fluent Malay and English, good for interview, *LOL Really prepare me for the life in university in the future.

Better go to pack now. Remember to pray for me, for everything!

2008年3月15日 星期六

The Longest Time for "Lim Teh"

What is "lim teh"? It is a Hokkien dialect(can someone help me to do spelling checking?), it means go to drink tea. In Cantonese, it will be "yam cha" and in Foochow will be "sia tah".

I'm not giving lessons on different Chinese dialect right here, I just want to share with you...Actually we are not only going to drink tea, but also to eat. This is the time a group of friends or relatives will have a gathering, go to "kopitiam"(coffee shop) or restaurant(if you are rich enough), then drink and eat something. Not only drink tea, you can also drink lemon tea, "Teh C", my favourite drink, but can drink too much to avoid from diabetes *laugh You can also go to eat supper or dinner or else, such as noodles, burger...(actually I want to try Kuew Tiaw with tomato sauce)

When I start to have this habit? Can't say it as habit, but is one part of my life...Actually when I was Form 4, I had follow my friends to eat Rojak and ABC in Bintangor, which that small town has a very delicious Rojak, somehow I came is just to become "lighthing bulb" of a couple, to make sure no one misunderstand them, *LOL But never mind, at least I had free food to eat and drink, that's why my weight is nearly 60kg right now. Can't believe it? Believe it, I just done my medical check up for National Service. So, the "lim teh" becomes part of my life since I moved to Sarikei, sometimes I will follow my church member as I have no friend and was very free that time. Usually at night, we still young, always active in night life, but it is healthy, please don't misunderstood. We always go back before 12 midnight...Just like last night, I still follow them to go to eat although it was raining. At first sure I feel like I am a stranger, can't mix with them, but now I can laugh of loud with them.

At first my parents didn't feel comfortable with this habit, but soon they didn't say anything, as long as I come back before 12. But when I was still a student, I seldom follow them, only during school holidays. Then during Chinese New Year, I will follow my cousins to eat satay and Malay's food at Kampung Seberang, which provides your various choices, I like to go there, it just too far from my house. I guess, this is what youth todays will do especially at night, and especially when they separated for so long and take this chance to be together and chit-chat about themselves.

This night, I made a record. I went to "lim teh" at Lake Park for FOUR hours! I don't know what the "tauke" feel as we sat there for that long, *laugh We chatted until 10pm then we went back. Fock Keong, the guy who are going to become Singaporean as he works there right now comes back to get this result, was asking for this gathering, and of cause, he is the one who paid, * LOL As he didn't come back at last Chinese New Year, sure we will spend time with him and chit-chat. Quite miss him because the visiting last time become a bit lame without his noisy sounds, *laugh But actually Kok Wei was the one who share the story most, about his life as a temporary teacher, and hearing stories about Siew Jing, our classmate and his colleague now. His experience will help him and me a lot, as both of us want to become a teacher, but it depends on God. I surrender to Him. Really have a nice chat tonight, until our parents called us and asked where we were, only Fock Keong didn't receive any call, just busy messaging, but still he share a bit of his work and life over there, but I think we just "ket" more than chit-chat. It really fun, until we didn't realize the time past so fast.

I think, this is what a gathering called, although we had only six people at first and left four in the end, but still we enjoyed the time together happily, for me. We really have long time not to see them, especially the "Singaporean", others we were together during Chinese New Year. Next time we should have a reunion, eat steamboat together...Suddenly miss my friends in Bintangor, I didn't go there to have gathering with them during Chinese New Year as they ask to, I always hate that I can't spend long time with them.

I like this habit, although it will cause me heavier, but to have more strong relationship among friends, this is one of the best way. Miss that time, where can we have that again?

2008年3月11日 星期二

STPM 2007 Result

Finally!
It has been released...
Thanks God, I got the gift from Your Hand again,
just like when I was taking SPM result two years ago...
Another suprising big gift from You!

Last two years, I back to Bintangor, to my mother school to get the SPM result. So shocked when I saw the grades on the slip that time.

7A1, 1A2, 1B3 and 2B4

I never get this result in my school before. I was shocked especially I can get B for science subjects...That time, I can only said one sentence, "Thanks God!" This is my first gift from Him, that lead me to the way to become His daughter, to become His servant, and I am willing to serve Him.

That one is about SPM one. *laugh Two years later, I went to my school with friends to get the result. It was released at 12 noon. So sad and so angry the clerks had their break at 12.30pm, we couldn't get the result, leaving school certificate and testimonials as we arrived at 12.30pm, felt very angry that time. The clerks back to work at 2pm, so Connie, Siau Kiet, Kok Wei and I just waited at school until 2pm, no place to go around, the town is not that big, * laugh

Beside chit-chat, we were busy pressing keypad of handphone, Kok Wei, the only boy who the only one brought two Nokias that time were also busy answering phone calls besides SMS, just like a businessman, *LOL As you know, the IT in Malaysia is wide-spreading, with lots of telecommunication company, such as Celcom, Digi and Maxis, with different packages like Digi Prepaid, Fu-Yoh...(can become promoter, *LOL) Our hands just very busy until the handphone low battery and no much credit, we are so pity...just asking and answering each other, what result each other have. Until now, still got people SMS me and asked me this. Phew!

Actually before that, I did something very naughty. I talked to a young teacher and joked with him. Then he brought me and showed me my slip. I said,"Thanks God!" when I saw the grades and the CGPA. It is BETTER THAN EXPECTED! I already repeated this phrases for several times already...I really shocked!

A for P.Am, B- for Biology, C+ for Mathematics, C for Chemistry
(C is a grade, I'm not teaching alphabet here)

Although it is not very good, but it's okay already. At least I achieved my dream. I can get CGPA more 2.5 and can go to local university! I got 2.75! I never get this high CGPA at school before, the highest one only reach 2.00. THANKS GOD!

Three girls got straight As in my school, congratulations to them! Maintain the performance of school...Now I started to frustrate, which course should I apply? I need to use the intelligence to make the wisest choices, I can't regret for the choices I had make. EIGHT choices to be filled within 10 days...actually is less than 10 days for me, I'm going to National Service next week! Have to seek for advice...Who are willing to share with me?

Thanks God for this!

Thanks a lot!






2008年3月7日 星期五

最深刻的暗恋故事

或许大家曾经因看到心仪对象而心“卜卜”地跳, 跳得好快, 快要窒息的感觉…
当时大家的脸可能红得就像红苹果, 感觉身体的温度一直上升, 好热…(还不置于发烧啦!)
尤其是正面碰对面, 你的眼睛不敢直接看着他…

但是,你却爱在远处默默地望着他,躲在柱子后面看着他的背影离去…
你的注意力都会放在他身上, 眼神会跟随他的步伐走啊走…

这是害羞少年的举动吧!我lower form的时候作过的事…
但是年龄渐渐增加, 我似乎变得越来越主动, 会懂得跟人打交道…

中三的时候,我对一个隔壁班的男同学产生好感。
他很常经过我的班,我的眼神会随着窗外的他而走动,因此而不专心上课(偶尔啦!)
他也有跟我一起补习, 可是大家都是属於比较沉默的人, 很难有话题聊…
中四的时候,他还是我的隔壁班同学,大家还一起当上了巡察员, 参加同一个社团…
大家因此会有些话题聊, 但是还是聊不开, 聊几下又没了…
记得有一次,参加社团活动时, 他受了伤, 我的举动太明显了,让他吓着了…
因为他当时感觉到我对他的不一样…

中五,他停学了。
而且身旁的朋友都不知道他几时和为何这么做,
真是急坏了大家…
不过,之后才知道他已经没心学习了而停学到外地工作, 至少让大家安心了…
就这样,我跟他的故事没了…
其实大家都只不过是普通朋友,从头到尾都是…
之后大家在街上碰到, 也会微笑点头。

这是我最深刻的暗恋故事, 其实也可说是单恋…
两年多的暗恋,三年的恋情始终未完全抹去以前的感觉,
因为当我再遇到他的时候,我还是会心跳加速,脸红的现象…

但是说实话, 其实我是看到一人分享她的暗恋故事后,我才会心血来潮,也来一份!
叫我翻开记忆本, 看看自己的故事, 还真的有点难度,
毕竟现在的恋情有发挥它的效果啊!
我不是很记得那段故事了,
可是那种感觉, 有一丝还是存在的…
就当作一部分的回忆吧!

2008年3月5日 星期三

My Plan For Now

12 March, SPM result will be released. For STPM, still don't know yet. I guess maybe it's between 17 March until 19 March. As the department didn't annouce the date together, I guess the date of the results of SPM and STPM to be released will be at different week. Hope it will be annouced before 18 March, I have to go to National Service that day!

The application to go to IPG is opened now. Don't get it, why the bank still can't sell the PIN number and told me the different things with what it says in the advertisment. But just ignore it. This time a new course is offered. It's Chinese Studies, can go oversea to continue study, and this course will be studied in China.

Go to China? I feel want to apply this course...But learning Literature and History of Chinese, just like a big challenge for me. Actually Chinese doesn't very difficult to me, if it becomes the major subject of mine. I even thought to take Chinese before in STPM, but I found out I can't really get better result and maybe will affect other subject, that's why I quit. My dad encourages me to take Chinese Studies in private college if I can't get into local university.

I still thinking, I know I am better in language than science. I know I feel comfortable to teach with my own language than using English. But teaching language...about poem, grammar, literature...something will make students fall asleep, it's a tough task to me. Now I give tuition on Mathematics primary school, I still can't handle it well...I know just few months only, but I still very poor in controlling pupil's discipline. Just like tonight, I just came to replace other teacher, and no exercise to do, they just ran and played, screamed until other teachers scolded them. Feel relief they didn't scold me, but I felt so sorry to them, I need other people to control the students... ~.~

For now, I still continue my tuition and learn to drive a car. So poor am I! I still can't control the sterling well after a week, I still not independent enough! Still dependent on teacher to tell me how much I should turn the sterling, when do I step the brake pedal and clutch pedal...So slow am I! Just like a snail...Wonder why guys almost are fast learner in this. I got three friends who are going to have Pre-Test tomorrow, and they only learn for three weeks! And of cause, they are guys. XD

And then maybe I will go to National Service on 18 March. I just hope the result will be released as soon as possible, so that I have enough time to apply local university, if I am qualified. Now I really, really need to think which step should I take next, which course should I choose, which way should I go.

Surrender to our mighty Lord,
Listen to what He says.
He will lead me to the best way,
Because He loves me,
Until He sacrifice His beloved sons, Jesus Christ,
To save me from becoming a sinner,
And can always be with Lord forever.
Amen.